Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
