Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
