I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
