Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
