My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Randomize