can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
