hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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