She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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