oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize