O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
