no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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