dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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