Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
