we have pet lesbian snakes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
