I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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