I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
