butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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