you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We need to rekindle our bromance
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
