I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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