Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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