All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
