Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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