It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
