The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
