people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize