I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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