Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm like, not good at living.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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