plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
