I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize