how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
