sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize