I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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