If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
