How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
