She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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