I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize