At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
