I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
