Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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