i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
