so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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