How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
