Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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