At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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