I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
