U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
