She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
