Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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