it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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