So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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