Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
