Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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