Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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