The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize