Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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