ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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