think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
