Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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