Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
