Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
