Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
