I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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