you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
