Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
